“Can you translate my tattoo?” – FCO’s weirdest consular enquiries

To silence a cockerel, translate a tattoo or order an unfit husband to shape up to have a family – these were just some of the more bizarre problems Brits have asked their consuls to solve over the past year, the Foreign Office has revealed.
Consular staff in Rome were asked to translate a phrase for a tattoo he wanted, while another man asked the Stockholm consulate if they could check out the credentials of a woman he had met online.
One man contacted the Montreal consul for information to settle a £1000 wager on the colour of the British passport, while staff in Beijing were asked to help a woman who had bought a pair of football boots that were “Made in China” but were poor quality.
A man injured in Cambodia when a monkey dislodged a stone that hit him demanded help getting compensation.
Consular staff in the Malaysian capital Kuala Lumpur were asked if they could help pay to send a couple’s children to an international school.
And one of the most common consular requests of all? Please recommend the best place to watch football.
Consuls in London: email your silliest enquiries to: editor@embassymagazine.com